God knows when to have it rain.

All Because Two People Fell In Love

I felt inspired to read a couple verses before I started writing and I knew, before I started reading, that something was going to stand out to me. As I was reading in The Book of Mormon I read Jacob 2; 18-19, and knew that that was the verse to remind me of grandpa. That's the way he lived his life. My heart is so full. I feel my heart pounding the love that needs to beat out of us, as his posterity, into the world like grandma and grandpa have always done.

All:

The word that describes the amount of love they have for eachother and everyone of us.

All of it.

Because:

Because to them it never feels right to have a family event without all who can make it, and that's because they see the eternities, learning we need each other to make it there.

Two:

They didn't just have nine kids but always had open arms to any number.

Like the way they've never just been two together, but three with the companionship of God. Which they try earnestly to strengthen. 

People:

They've never asked for praise because they knew they were just people. People living, giving, and following the commandments. Yet they always knew they were children. Children of a God. A Heavenly Father who praised them, seeing from above the people they were saving by being the living, giving, and commandment following people they've been. 

  

Fell:

Falling has always been short, with them getting right to their knees knowing Christ fell for them.

Which made standing in his ways their forever choice.

In:

Inside their hearts and inside their minds fills the spirit. 

Love:

The word that makes all the hard easier. The word that took Christ to the cross, and grandpa the veil.

The word that makes all the hard worth it just like they new having nine kids wouldn't be easy, but that they'd create generations. 

Generations of faith to make the hard things easier. 

Easier for eachother, the future, the needy, the poor, the faithful, the struggling, the all. 

And it's all because two people fell in love. 

In love with the the plan of happiness, their testimonies, Heavenly Father, The Savior, and eachother.

"All because two people fell in love. I loved him from the first time I saw him, and I never dreamed he would be mine"

"Because I know you grandpa jay I want to know the savior" 

"I'm a believer because you are a believer"

"I'll miss you. I'll always remember you"

"You made me and my kids feel so special"

"I can't wait to be reunited with you again" 

"You were he first to talk with me and make me feel apart of the family"

"Thank you for helping make me the man I am today"

"I hope I can be more like you everyday"

"You've touched everyone of our lives in a special way"

"The legacy that he left us is one that's hard to follow" 

"The plan of salvation is the plan of happiness for all of us. And daddy wants that for all of us" 

"Daddy will have fun with Jesus" 

"Because of grandpa we believe in angels. We believe in miracles"

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to go to school again because he loved learning so much"

"I loved him from the first time I saw him, and I never dreamed he would be mine"

"Momma and daddy taught us how to love"

"This is not how all grandparents are. You are very blessed."

 

"We know he's watching and crying too."

"He was a champion of light. A desire for truth. To battle against unrighteousness"

"It's one thing to say, and it's another to say and do. Which is what he did."

"We can look around and see that God lives. And that the gospel is true. He's another testament of that."

"He's made believers out of all of us."

"They could of gone and traveled and saved money, but they chose to save and be with their kids."

"He knew what was really important. It was not the money."

"I know I'm not closed minded because he taught us to believe in anything that's good."

"With grandpa passing I've realized that I do have a lot to grieve and be angry about, but because of this gospel and grandpa's teachings I don't have to. I can come to understand that this is the plan of happiness. That everything I go through is to benefit me by coming closer to the Savior."

Take my hand and take it to salvation. To love another person is to see the face of God. 

I think one of my problems is my want to swim and float. I want the underwater feel and the breeze while floating all at once. I want that successful writer and pride in that and helping life. I want to live the way everyone wants but really I want to be different from the rest. It's like waiting on you tube for that song that's just going to hit you. and make you feel like you should get the credit for being the artist when you're just the one enjoying. But that's it. I want to be the artist and the people who have no interest but stare and try to understand each gallery. I want to be that girl with the normal husband family life when really I just want what I want to feel normal. And after awhile it gets hard pretending that you have confidence in what you believed you knew to be true about what you wanted. Or maybe even what you know you wanted, but even like that I can't just let myself be one or the other because if I stay on my side of the fence. Even watering the grass. I'll just want to hop it because I've never felt that kind of green. over there.
And that's where the problem starts
I've ripped too many jeans and torn too many ideas
But I keep finding a new pair a pants in every location and i'm happy with them for a while but then things start to change like just wanting a new finger nail color to match or major in schooling or thoughts about where I'm headed
and where others are
And then today things changed because I know now that comparison is the thief of joy. And that enjoying where I am is where I should be headed. And that I can make my grass on my side of the fence feel like any other green out there.
That I can become the artist and I do it through enjoying the views at each gallery. I can still have that normal family everyone wants and it wont be that normal but it will be to me. Because I'll always love things like matching every sock to a pair and throwing out what can't be fixed. I'll create and I wont be a swimmer or a floater because I'll be jogging or walking or strolling and those are the things I actually enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6ns7yt1Jik

those posts that aren't everything you're wanting them to say, but they're as close as you can get for now

Prompt #4: What is your favorite work of art? What do you love about it? (6/13/15)

Listen/Read

The art that didn't need to happen.
Like me choosing sunlight on this page while I write in a meadow next to my best friends.
And I didn't even mean to set my converse down like the way I want my heart to fall in my first heartbreak.
The plane perfectly pictured in between the not-so-even trees.
There's cracks in the dirt that make me wonder how ants can take on the world where cracks are their canyons.
The canyon and how God and Christ spent 6 days creating nature and this world. I love that.  I love that he'd know we'd evolve to cities, gas, money, gas, cities and that we'd need a love for art that can't be drawn or written perfectly. I love rain on car windows and the inspiration I'm filled with just watching each drop.
Mostly I love the art people are, and the things we can create. and the way we can love. Either way I need to start loving myself because I know God created me too.
And I didn't need to realize that writing this but I did
The art that didn't need to happen.

Prompt #3: The Ways I'll Get Closer To Who I NEED To Be

I don't want to live a normal life to the people around me. I don't want to care what anyone thinks other than God, and I don't want to stay up late messing up his plan for me anymore. I'm tired of not doing what I know I should be and separating my spirit and body more and more everyday. I want to be the women that supports her man, and helps him live to his potential. I want to wait and let the things that happen later actually happen later because they'll be and mean so much more then. I want to be the girl who finds time for work, school, sleep, exercise, thoughtfulness, fun, and studying spiritually and educationally everyday. I want to make Sundays full of service and each night filled with thoughts toward Thee rather then what I shouldn't and should've done. I want to give enough to my parents and still have enough to support my needs and my future family needs. Which means I want to be the girl with a budget and the girl who cares more about money for her family then the girl who cares so much about her outsides. but I still want to have style. I want to have style because wearing lipstick will always be apart of me. The same way I'll want to get something for myself every now and again. I want to feel comfortable with tears when things get to hard or sad for me to hold back, and the way i'll get there is being more of the me I know I should be. So here's to my goals and the chances I have to change again and be better everyday through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

1. Sleep 8 hours a night
2. Pray every morning
3. Exercise
4. Work/School
5. Smile and be thoughtful
6. Homework
7. Fun
8. Spiritual Study
9. Pray
10. Be in bed around 12

Prompt #2: You are the winds interpreter. What is it saying? (5/22/15)

If you only knew how planned I was for you.
Just stop the worrying and stressing and think about it.
Think about God creating your cheeks soft & firm to feel my breeze
That you'd have the opportunity of life and feeling my gusts comb through your hair.
Do you know that I've been placed for everywhere you've felt me? Right now here in the mountains I'm placed here for you.
I'm asked to help the clouds let go of the rain on the days you just want to cry because he knows you can't leak any extra water.
And it's painful for me to create loss like any tsunami affecting lives, but I mix up the waters because I see the way he loves you and wants you to grow through your pains.
I know this from brushing passed your brother's cheeks as he sacrificed for you.


TODAY:
spanish fork's hot pots with the home gurlz

Prompt #1: List of Advice

1. Bring a jacket wherever you go

2. What really matters is how you feel about what your doing and where you're going. Just focus on setting goals and pleasing God. His and your opinions are all that matter. 

3. Trust in good. If you have a good thought then do it. Good things help people more than you think.
4. Tell them how you feel because you never know what will come of it.
5. Let whatever's keeping you from serving and liking someone go. It's only hurting you to hate.
6. Read and pray and work hard everyday and you'll feel good
7. If you're trying to be healthy: The second dessert will never satisfy you like the first
8. Tell your parents you love them a lot more than you already do, or ask them for advice, and take into consideration what they say. Cuz they need that.
9. People have better intentions then you think they do.
10. You're doing better than you think you are.
11. Push yourself to be vulnerable and do the things you're scared of. It makes life and the stories about it better.
12. Be honest. As honest as you can.
13. Connect your body and spirit everyday.
14. Attend the temple regularly
15. Don't get into habits of baking and making the same things. Try new cuz you never know what you're missing out on.
16. Write letters to people. They can keep them, and there proof of anything you want them to be proof of. Love, forgiveness, sadness, It all.
17. Prove yourself to yourself.
18, Work hard in school cuz you'll regret it when you don't.
19. Be kind to yourself. Tell the mean thoughts to leave, and welcome the good ones more.

HB text to the fastest texter backer

Mel is my first call. My go to for everything life. It fathoms me, honestly can't begin to comprehend how she doesn't see how absolutely close to the Savior that she constantly is. And I get to say that because the amount of times she has said something that only the spirit knew I needed is endless. Mel became my friend in the ninth grade and my life was forever changed for the best after that. Mel is my hero. My greatest example. She is as close as it gets to perfection inside and out. She reminds me of all the great women in the scriptures that you read about. Her soul is made up of entirely all great things. Selfless. Humble. Faithful. She is it all. Yet she sees so little of it. Shes frustrating in that way. She is sass. She is forgetfulness. And she pushes people away when she needs them the most. She's sensitive and takes things to heart (with careful consideration). She doesn't give up and is stubborn in that way. Her stress and worry comes from watching out for others feelings. That is something that will never become weak in her. Many times I've just looked over at Mel to see her admiring and striving to understand the world around her. She's grateful. Mel is my support and encouragement for better things. Mel's gift is her selfless-ness and genuine-ness. She brings about miracles. Or in my case was one for me as she came into my life at a time I needed someone exactly who she was. She is the friend you search an entire lifetime for and I feel blessed to of only had to look for 15ish years, here's to eternity of friendship.  Mel is my forever friend. 

That's what she wrote about me cuz she has the ability to make everyone sound better than the way they see themselves, and she does it without even knowing. She's the person who stays up stressing about the things she needs to get done and the things she needs to do for God. She the person you feel ok crying in front of because she's not afraid of showing how she feels and how the risk of being vulnerable can create wonderful things. Probably the person you'll text and ask advice about guys, or school, or style, or gospel, or life. Partially because you know she'll be there. She's the most dependable person I had in my life all of highschool. 

 She's the person you want to make proud cuz she never forgets to share the good she sees in you. Her faith is that of the people who have been there before. People written about in scriptures, stories, and novels. She's the unnoticed hero who makes hard things possible by the inspired words she clearly states and feels. She says I'm stubborn with her equally stubborn traits 

cuz she has her ways, ways that get her places everyday! She's the go getter, and the fastest texter backer cuz she knows what it feels like to wait for a response. Or good things to happen. That's why she's the person you'll say is kind, compassionate, thoughtful, considerate, genuine, adventurous, and all things of hope. She's my best of friends. So I hope her Bday helps her feel somewhat of how she deserves. 

This summer

1. Write everyday either how you feel/prompt, and what you did

2. Go to a concert

3. Plan 3 fun dates

4. Be more honest

5. Do something thoughtful 3 times a week

6. Spend a good amount of time with your fam and friends

7. Focus on being who you want to be

8. Sleep more

9. Eat healthier and some type of exercise everyday

10. Try and new food or idea once a month

11. Play paint twister

12. Escape Room

13. Plane Ride with Ash/decide on skydiving

14. Stay organized and make your bed every morning 

15. Bake on Sunday's 

16. Talk with your parents more and express your gratitude 

17. Do something for the Martins

18. Scripture Study everynight or morning

19. Attend the temple weekly 

Seth

Today I want to write about something real

He told me i'm a good sister one night when I was just trying to be

And something grew in me like a hope that I can change and become anything greater than who I already was.

He's just that way

The person authors try to depict in every romance novel

And he's real

He's real honest and helps you to want to be no matter how hard the words are to get out.

He's the guy who tells you everything you want to hear because he sees it in you, and knows the things you don't, yet gives you confidence anyway

Every door's opened for you, and once more

Same with the opportunity to be with him and feel good about who you are. Inside and outside. 

You'll laugh when your with him and when you aren't cuz he just makes you smile, and realize that there's stuff to be happy and joke about.
Mostly I'll remember the impact of the moments where he was just looking out for the 1 in a room full of 99
Like making sure everyone has hot chocolate, and a smile on their face.

He likes country cuz it's better than any rap 

besides the ones he writes for me, 

and that's what shows me he's willing to change for what's right. 

Right like he thinks he is in every convo, but admits when he knows he's not

You'll never question if he likes you cuz he treats you like he loves you, and he has that love for every lucky person he meets. 

His laugh is the best. He's the best. And he'll tell you you are, and treat you better than you imagined someone could. 

He's the real. 

Creating Happiness Like a Poet

I was just thinking. Why not choose happiness if you can?

Like people who sneeze loud and just act proud
Or the pie my grandma makes and only cares if it tastes

Smiles or compliments meaning people went out of their way
Went out of their way like my friend who stayed after class to make sure I was okay
Ok.. the word whither it's used wrong or not because it means people are hurt, but their big enough to say their problems are small enough for the response of ok
People who smile without teeth. I love that like I love peanut butter. 
And peanut butter
deserves it's own line cuz really it can be alone or with anything and it's still got magic

Kind of like the person I'm striving to be
For real tho it's the testimonies on fast Sunday. The girl that gets up every time because she's got more courage than me
When you read that line you wish you wrote and it fills you better than any meal. 
Hugs. 

My Dad promising my beauty everyday like the sun promises he'll rise again without say

but most of all i'm happy today because today i relearned that being happy means choosing not to be sad. or frustrated. it's choosing Christ and his plan. and i'm happy i did then. and i have the chance to now.

And that's where it probably ends because he shows me what I want in a man and when I find my man I'll find my family and when I have my family I'll realize that the life I've lived and the life I'm going to live is happy